Posts Tagged ‘Big Bird’

I worried that our endlessly hard-working congress might grasp the import of issues before them, end the stalemate and open the government before I could write this blog post.

Silly me.

Would sober-minded people act to jeopardize our economy?  I think not.  So there must be a little something extra in the Congressional Water Cooler.

Is the 3 Martini Lunch back in vogue?  Is a drink hat, fitted with a donkey or elephant logo, one drink holder over each ear with straws part of the congressional orientation kit?  Do members who bother to show up for sessions have round robin tournaments of beer pong during filibusters?

So with Big Bird still safely locked behind the closed gates of the National Zoo, I have time to wonder: “What was Congress drinking when they decided it was a good idea to bring government functions to a screeching halt and what are they drinking now?”

I threw the question out to my trusty Twitter friends who, despite the multiple policy decisions they tackle in the course of a day, are reliable and responsive.

  • @Create_Daily says, “They were sipping a little too much Fishhouse Punch when they pulled the plug.”  Now he’s sure they’re “…drinking Pepto by the bottle.”
  • @mscharlies suggests, “Then: Mescal Now: Rye”
  • @margaretomara believes congress enjoyed, “Long Island Iced Tea (Parties): easy to overindulge, with potentially disastrous consequences.”
I’m so glad I asked because this is all starting to make sense to me! Picture all 535 members of congress with Long Island Iced Tea or Fishhouse Punch or Mescal in their drink hats (their choice, free country) on big decision days and then alternating between Pepto and Rye to treat the hangover.
  • ‏@WarrenBobrow1 throws his hands up and calls for “mint juleps for all!!!!”  (I think the julep might be more for us than congress though.)

There is one person who doesn’t think congressional decisions are flavored by alcohol. He doesn’t believe our elected officials are drinking at all. And while I don’t agree, I’m including his response because I believe in the integrity of Twitter Polls.  @MacCocktail says, “They’re smoking the crack rock! That’s what they’re doing!”

So come on, be truthful, how many of you have said the very same thing? Of course you say it in jest. Of course, nobody really thinks our elected officials use crack. (Marion Barry is old news and Toronto’s Mayor is obviously a Canadian.)  But it would be nice to come up with an explanation for continuous under-achieving.

Maybe our Congressmen and Senators should come hang out at Gran Electrica (5 Front Street, DUMBO, NYC).

Gran Electrica continues to over-achieve in margarita mixing and taco making. I’ve written about them before and along with members of the Independent Panel of Judges, keep going back for more. They have a back garden and on a recent fall day, I sat outside with The Panel and made friends with the people next to us. Even though we were years apart in age, miles apart in home geography and culturally mixed, we figured out how to bridge the divide between tables.

Gran Electrica - Decisions made, bridges build, margaritas drank

Gran Electrica – Decisions made, bridges built, margaritas drank

Thank you to all who took the time to respond to this Twitter Poll. I appreciate it!

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I imagine Big Bird hanging in his nest, kicking his big orange feet up on a big twig and sharing nachos with Snuffy as he settled in along with 60 million other Americans to watch the Presidential Debates.  Did he fall out of his tree when he heard his big yellow feathered head is in the crosshairs of the GOP Presidential Nominee?

Was his beak agape at the news? Did his big body slump in sadness at the thought of losing his long running job?

Mitt’s promise to give Big Bird the axe touched a public nerve.  I’ve heard calls for a “Million Muppet March” and for a movement to “Occupy Sesame Street”.  I think some Muppets might be ready to rumble.

Sure this outpouring of support must warm the big bird’s heart and if I were Big Bird, I think I’d also need a heart-warming, nerve calming drink.  But what would that drink be?

I decided to go to the experts and throw a poll on Twitter to find out what cocktail Big Bird would reach for in this time of crisis.  And here are your answers:

@WarrenBobrow1 suggests a Green Swizzle (which seems like a perfectly named drink for a Muppet) and responded to a request for less sugar (@catekustanczy) with this suggestion:  Chartreuse, white rum, crushed ice, mint, bitters and simple syrup.

@Create_Daily went for a Cape Codder since, after all, Mitt is from Massachusetts

@margaretomara says Big Bird should drink one of these (Money Green Champagne) as it’s the perfect option for big-spending, liberal, yellow Muppets. (You should know @margaretomara is a historian doing a lecture series on Presidential Politics. If you’re in the Seattle area, check it out.)

@SuburStateOfMom suggests a Dark & Stormy – pretty self-explanatory, I think.

@cocktail_diva believes a Banana Daiquiri sounds like a good regular drink for Big Bird.  But after watching the debate, she suggests he might want a shot of Jack.

@CurranEileen suggests Sancerre by the bottle because that’s what she’d do in his shoes. (Drinking more than one bottle implied).

@AskBartenders says Big Bird should have a Screwdriver and the reasons are obvious:  It’s yellow and he just got fired!

@HOTSAAKE suggests an Aviation though on the chance Big Bird is flightless (and he is a BIG bird with small wings) maybe a Stork Club. @HOTSAAKE might be going to far with the suggestion that a clubbed stork would be a good food pairing with his drink choice.  I’m pretty sure Big Bird is an animal rights guy.

@marciarusso thinks Big Bird might enjoy a Lemon Drop.

@SideKickSG calls for Shots, Shots, Shots!  Shots make tons of sense on many levels, especially since @SideKickSG = SideKick Shot Glass.

@OHIOjagergirls suggest #honeydewme. I think that’s all the Jager talking.

@RachelC_fr went for it and suggests a Dirty Bird.  She feels bad for suggesting that in reference to Big Bird but I feel pretty sure Big Bird has a sense of humor.

And finally, @jeffomara points out that a Mocktail must be Big Bird’s cocktail of choice.  Since PBS only accounts for 0.012% of the federal budget, going after Big Bird will be meaningless in terms of reducing the deficit.  So a decisive action plan that zeros out PBS will have zero impact, much like a fake cocktail.

I imagine Big Bird is in hiding now and all his friends (Elmo, Cookie Monster, The Count, Grover …) must all be pretty shaken.  After all, if Big Bird goes down, they won’t be far behind.  So if you should run across Big Bird, it might be nice to show him some love and buy him a drink.

OH, I of course would buy him a margarita, frozen.  They usually come in big glasses, perfect for a bird of his size, and the straw would be a good drinking accessory for someone with a beak.

Big Bird

Big Bird (Photo credit: LR_PTY)

Thank you to all my Twitter friends for participating! Thank you to Mitt Romney for making this possible and most of all, thank you to Big Bird!  If anyone has drink suggestions to add, please comment!

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